I finally found the time to take my new computer out of the box and attempted to download the Office Home and Business 2016 program on the computer. The box was virtually empty with the exception of containing a link to access the program from the Internet. The link and twenty-five digit product key was included in the box. What else could you need?
Okay, so maybe I’m old school. Didn’t we historically get several disks that you sequentially inserted in the computer to use in downloading a program? Maybe that was back in the dark ages. Seriously, today you don’t need anything like that. In fact, the new radio I purchased for my truck that includes Apple Car Talk doesn’t have a place to insert CDs. That is definitely old school and has fallen to the wayside like eight-track cassette players.
Accessing the link for the computer program contained in the box, I entered the product key and then attempted to answer two simply questions. The answers were in a drop-down box format. The only problem is the drop down boxes didn’t work. I won’t begin to tell you how many times I tried before saying, “Calf Rope”.
“Calf Rope” - Isn’t that the sign of surrender that we learned as kids? Remembering back, when you had endured all you could stand, the brother twisting your arm behind you back let go and the pain immediately quelled. All it took for immediate relief was to say the words: “Calf Rope”. Have you ever attempted to recount the number of times that articulating “Calf Rope” offered a respite from an uncomfortable situation during your childhood years? Two simple words that are easy to articulate, but difficult to say. No one ever wants to surrender.
I reached out to the help line associated with the Office program and immediately received a telephone call back. Actually, I was startled when the phone rang. I had just read that I could expect a phone call in about twenty minutes. It wasn’t twenty seconds later that the phone was ringing. The voice on the other end of the line couldn’t have been more helpful.
The lady gave me a different login link and the drop boxes worked flawlessly once I entered the product code. I was a little embarrassed that it took me so long to enter the twenty-five-digit product code. I told her it was going to take me a minute, but she said for me not to feel hurried. Seriously, the product code could have been written is a larger font, but somehow I managed.
Once the product code was entered and the two questions were answered, the lady offered to stay on the line until the program was completely downloaded. She said: “I really don’t mind. If you have questions or need assistance, I’d be glad to help.” I hurried her off by explaining that our high-speed Internet is anything but high-speed. Seriously carrier pigeon would probably be faster.
Seriously, I am pretty slow in connecting the dots, but it didn’t take me long to figure out that our Internet service was incapable of getting the job done. I hoped against hope that I was wrong. I woke up yesterday morning to the realization that I was right. The program had not downloaded through the night. I needed “real” high-speed Internet.
Fortunately my daughter came to the rescue. Their home in Dripping Springs has real high speed Internet. It was almost as quick as a flash and it was done. Yesterday afternoon, the General and I took my old computer to give to a friend. The folks at the computer store did a diagnostic test when I took it with me to retrieve the new computer. I wanted them to migrate the files from the old machine to the new computer. It was a two-day project but they got it done.
I was really clear in articulating what I needed regarding the old computer. I was planning to give it away and I needed all of my files and personal information taken off of the old computer. In other words, I wanted it reset to factory new condition.
When I went to retrieve the two computers, the technician was reportedly still busy erasing my files off of the old computer. Though I was pressed for time, it was worth the wait. Consequently, it was with confidence that I loaded it up to give it away yesterday afternoon.
No one could have been more surprised than I was when my personal email notifications starting arriving as soon as I turned on the old machine. Don’t you just love the cloud? What part of taking off ALL of my files and personal information did the computer guru not understand? Perhaps I should have sent him electronic instructions.
Sure as shooting, all of my email files were still on the computer. It was a little awkward, but I started erasing files. Surely, there was a way to take my Google Account off of the old machine. Over the next hour and a half, I wished that my nine-year old grandson were still here. He may have been able to solve the riddle, but I never got it figure out.
I found lots of ways to eradicate an email account and seriously lived in fear that I had inadvertently done that. Fortunately, I had not. For the next ninety minutes I erased information only to discover other files and more information. Murphy was right: “If anything can go wrong, it will”.
The friend I was giving the computer to was certainly understanding. I hauled the computer back home until I can get personal files deleted. Reportedly, it is a simple process to restore the computer to its original state. That is what I want! Actually, I thought that was what I had previously requested. Consequently, I’ll be imposing on my daughter for another real high-speed Internet experience. In addition, she has the skillset to ensure personal information doesn’t get mixed in with the gift of the computer.
By the way, Yhprum's Law is the opposite of Murphy's Law (Yhprum = Murphy backwards). The simple formula of Yhprum's Law is: "Everything, that can work, will work."
All My Best!
Don