Whether being single again is a result of death, divorce, disappointment, heartache or a hundred and one other variables, it is not easily and painlessly negotiated. Alfred Lord Tennyson is credited with stating:
“’Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all”.
While at face value, I’m inclined to agree with Tennyson; however, I’m not sure everyone who has incurred loss would agree. Sometimes the pain associated with loss makes it seem like the price of admission is too high. Think of the courage it takes to even consider starting over. For many it is a difficult and arduous journey.
I asked the question at dinner last night, “So how did the two of you meet?” The couple was gleaming with delight and gratitude. They had just joined the ranks of the “Mr. and Mrs.” Both had that “on-top-of-world kind of persona”.
She answered first. She said: “We met on match.com. Actually, my subscription to the dating site was coming to a close”. Perhaps under the auspices of “everything that appears golden isn’t gold”, the subscriber mentioned to the dating site that her experience had been disappointing. It certainly had not been good. Consequently, in a good faith effort, the dating site extended her the opportunity to remain a member for an additional six-month membership without additional charge. It was during the last month of that six-month extended subscription that she starting dating my friend.
The man holding her hand as she answered the question was now her husband. Could that really be right? He and I have been friends for over fifty years. The General and I had met the new bride over 6 ½ years ago. Could they really have been dating for that length of time? It then occurred to me that my friend was driving his third pickup since meeting the woman who an hour earlier became his wife. Wow, theirs has been a long journey.
The two of them honored me last night by allowing me the privilege of officiating at their wedding ceremony. I opted to state the obvious. I suggested to them that they had already made the discovery that life lived in concert with the other was more meaningful, more fulfilling, more enriching, and more satisfying.
After all, God ordained the partnership of marriage. Obviously, it was His intent that they be partners; partners to share, enrich, compliment, and more fully complete the person he intended.
The words I shared with them came easy. Looking into their eyes I said: “The relationship that you share, the love that you express, the hopes and expectations you hold for the future, all remind us that we have a Loving Heavenly Father who is dedicated toward promoting our greater good”.
The fabric for building love that lasts a lifetime is characterized by kindness. Jesus said it this way, “By this shall all men know you are my disciples if you have love one for another.”
It was Mother Theresa who said: “Spread love everywhere you go. First of all in your own house. Give love to your children, to your wife or husband, to a next door neighbor…Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness in your warm greeting.
The Biblical overview of life reflects that marriage was born in the mind of God. From the beginning God saw that it was not good for man to be alone. He responded by making a help-meet. A helper suited and intended in God’s wisdom to enrich man. The new English Bible reads: “I will provide a partner for him.”
Following the brief wedding ceremony in their home, the bride mentioned that as she pulled into the driveway coming home from work, she heard Tim McGraw’s number one hit entitled: “Humble and Kind”. The lyrics to the song ring with clarity and highlight the importance of kindness:
“It won’t be wasted time
Always stay humble and kind...
Don't take for granted the love this life gives you
When you get where you're goin
Don't forget turn back around
And help the next one in line
Always stay humble and kind.”
Speaking of kindness, I became teary eyed when got home last night and read the kind note my friend of 50 years had written: “Your friendship and support has sustained me during good and bad times. You were there with concern, compassion and caring. You did not judge or point out the errors that I had made in life. I read in your blog where you have done the same for many others. You are remarkable in your service to God through your treatment to mankind.” While my friend has greatly exaggerated my influence and demeanor, his kindness will be a forever memory for me. I am blessed.
All My Best!
Don