The sound in my head this morning, as I awakened early, was not a familiar sound. It was the sound of Uriah Heep singing, “Lady In Black”. The song was released in 1970. The song seems to fit with my “Summer of ‘69” theme over the past two or three days. I won’t even ask if you remember the lyrics, because until two days ago, I had never heard the song.
“She came to me one morning – One lonely Sunday morning – Her long hair flowing in the mid-winter wind – I know not how she found me – For in darkness I was walking – And destruction lay around me – From a fight I could not win… But she would not think of battle that – Reduces men to animals – So easy to begin and yet impossible to end…”
“So easy to begin and yet impossible to end” – doesn’t that define what we know through experience to be true about war? The Vietnam years associated to America’s involvement forever changed my life. I fall in the category of “John Q. Public” – I never served. I never went to war. I don’t live with the memories of combat and something other than a hero’s when they returned.
If Vietnam was a mistake made by the power structure in Washington, it was an expensive mistake! If it was a mistake, it was one that forever impacted every life it touched, even if only peripherally! The rhetoric around the need for military force to defend a sovereign nation – South Vietnam – from external Communist aggression was thought to be a stronghold to protect other nations from also falling to communism like a domino effect.
Three decades later, Robert S. McNamara, previous Secretary of Defense for both President Kennedy and President Johnson, defined the nation’s involvement as “terribly wrong”. [“In Retrospect” 1995 and “Argument Without End” (2000)] That adds a whole new concept to “a day late and a dollar short”. McNamara was a key figure defining the nation’s strategy and charting our course.
One of the things I treasure about writing a blog is the insight and contributions of others in response to something I’ve highlighted in a memory. My blog is posted on Weebly, WordPress and Facebook. Only those accessing the blog through Facebook see the responses. The ones shared yesterday in response to the blog entitled “Make Love Not War” tugged at my heartstrings. Consequently, this morning I want to share some of them with the broader audience. My thanks and gratitude for the transparency and memories shared:
“Made me cry. Have been thinking about 1969 since yesterday’s blog…so many memories. Watching the moonwalk in wide-eyed wonder, watching in horror as other kids my age shot other kids my age at Kent State. Gathering with college friends to watch the first draft lottery, keeping watch through a long night over a dorm friend after she had an illegal abortion. Tutoring inner-city children who had never met white people before.
“I stood on the sidelines in 1968 when other Rice students marched with banners protesting the war and all of the Presidential candidates, confused and conflicted. My cousin and several friends served. My boyfriend destroyed his own foot to avoid serving after getting a low lottery number.
“We came of age at a pivotal time in our nation, and nothing in our upbringing prepared us for those years” – Cathe Wimberely Halford
Just reading the words of “Goodnight Saigon” had me bleary eyed again. As I told you in my message this song evokes powerful memories to the Marines who served in Vietnam. As I stated to you and will share with your readers that when I sing this at Karaoke when we gather every year to celebrate our Birthdays at the end of the song there is silence and reflection, tears and then these men comforting each other. When we gather we have a few beers and when I am singing, not one beer leaves the bar to someone’s lips. It is only rapt attention to the words and music. I have always liked Billy Joel’s music but I learned to love him for this song!– Dennis Carpenter
“I remember during the Viet Nam war we’d watch the nightly news trying to learn anything about our brothers’ location. Both of us had a brother there. Chester Huffman & Donnie Phillips were marines. Back then , if you didn’t want to be in the Army you joined another branch before being drafted. My husband is the sole survivor of a WWII veteran killed on Okinawa . His mother made sure the selective service knew that. And that’s why he never served in the military. His marine brother is a younger half brother. I watched both of our brothers come home with lots of problems. Chester is deceased but Donnie is alive & suffers effects of agent orange”. – Paula Flippin
“The first half of 1969 I spent on campus at A&M, a military ROTC school, where patriotism was way above 100%. I listened to the guys talk about the Vietnam War in hushed tones and angry tones. I heard the names of those who were killed within minutes of arriving in Viet Nam and others who were MIA, or in prison. The guys studied hard, worked hard, and played harder, maybe out of fear, maybe out of a need for a release of tension. Somehow I felt connected to those leaving school and going off to war. And being surrounded by nearly 13,000 uniformed men, I felt some sense of security even though few were over 20. The second half of 1969, I spent on campus at Arizona State University where I saw my first hippies, attended my first rock concert (with live goats on the football field), smelled pot for the first time in the campus restrooms, and saw earth mothers without bras sitting in class. I would take Texas A&M over ASU in a heartbeat”. – Anne Boykin
“Spot on Donald. You touched on survivor’s guilt and it doesn’t matter much how much you gave as long as there are people like Ronald who gave all. And we have all these beautiful and wonderful human reminders out there that show us what Ronald missed out on. So what can we do? Take those human reminders and love them and support them as we know Ronald would have.”
- Ken Brown
“I grew up the youngest of four children, two brothers and a sister. We were raised much like you – our dad was a WWII vet and very patriotic toward our nation. My older brother and I both enlisted in the Marines. My oldest brother was classified 4F – non-eligible for service – and suffered from survivor’s guilt, but neither my older brother nor I ever thought less of him for not serving. I hated the way we were treated back then, but a lot of it was probably instigated by the media, much like they control a lot of the nation’s mood today. As far as Billy Joel’s song Goodnight Saigon – I cannot listen to it and not get teary-eyed. It is a very strong and emotional song. Most excellent blog today, Don!” – Mike Bliss
“Don your words bring back the memories. As my twin brothers both drafted at the same time. They served in the Army if my memory serves me right from 67-68. One stationed in Saigon DMZ, the other in DaNang. What I remember the most, was when they got off the plane instead of a heros welcome, they were spat on, and called baby killers. They gave their all, and asked if they’d do it again, the same answer, you bet I would. Some memories hurt, because there’s a price to them, but Thank You for your post on such matters. We need to remember !!!”– Debbie Wilson McRae
“I beat the draft and am proud of it. I enlisted in the Marine Corps October 13, 1966. I was eighteen. I arrived down south VN January 1968 just in time for the 68 Tet Offensive. Got there as a Lance Cpl and came home 20 months and some days later as a Sgt. And….. yes, my heart still hurts for the way we were treated and the betrayal we felt. Every time I go to the Vietnam Memorial in DC I stand at a distance and look at “The Wall”. I see thousands of names and my reflection among the names. I feel like part of the wall and I cry for my brothers and sisters who lost their lives. Cry is actually an understatement. I sob. I miss the one’s you and I knew. My heart breaks for the loss of young lives, unresolved issues, missed potential, broken hearts and dreams unfulfilled. I came home 50 years ago this coming September. Part of me is still there. Am I a better man for it? I don’t know. I hope so”.– Rick Warnick
All My Best!
Don