Since I’m the quintessential long-story teller, let me interrupt to say we shared the evening last night with Andrea and Kevin. The General had stopped by Cooper’s BBQ in Llano on her way home late afternoon yesterday. Pork chops, ribs and sausage were the order of the day. She purchased enough that a welcome home celebration was in order.
Of course, she didn’t purchase any sides. Consequently, I went to the grocery store on a hunt for the perfect something. I figured that a salad, grilled asparagus and grilled skewers of veggies would be healthier than potato salad, cold slaw and beans. Maybe there is hope for me yet.
I suggested that we take the meal to Andrea and Kevin’s house. They have been homebound for several days nursing their older dog back to good health. Thankfully, the dog is much better and Andrea and Kevin were a lot less stressed. You know how it goes, “When your dogs are doing well, you are doing well. When they’re not doing well, neither or you". Seeing Colby back up on her feet was music even to my ears.
Okay, now to get back to the General’s story. What do you do when there is nothing to do? On the list of things that I would come up with, I’d never add defrosting the freezer in her mother’s house to my list. Actually, isn’t that an invasion of a person’s privacy? Some people might consider storing cash in the deep freeze. Seriously, the term “cold hard cash” has to come from somewhere. Maybe it is the deep freeze? I’ve told both of my kids that when I’m gone, throw nothing away without looking carefully.
Actually, her mother has two freezers and they were both full. Across the forty-nine years I’ve been in the family, the freezers have always been full. I’m talking about the kind of full that there is no room for the addition of anything else. That is also true of the refrigerator. Had I been the General, I wouldn’t have looked.
With nothing but time on her hands, why not? To her mother’s credit, she historically has labeled and dated anything she put in the deep freeze. The larger deep freeze looks like an old (very old) upright refrigerator, but it has only one purpose that is to keep items frozen. Apparently it is worth its weight in salt because it has served its purpose well.
Apparently the deep freezer worked pretty much like a piggy bank. You put items in and you never take them out. Well, the General has changed all of that. It is part of her signature series. Besides that, why not make a clean sweep and move two-thirds of what was frozen into the dumpster to thaw? Of course, it required perfect timing on the General’s part and she is the queen of perfect timing. It went into the dumpster knowing that several hours later it would all been on it’s way to wherever the dump truck took it.
I’m not making this up. If you knew the General’s mother, you’d know that it is a true story. She never throws anything away unless the General is in town barking orders and doing the work. Nothing suits the General's fancy like taking on a mission impossible task. In fact, I think that is one of the reasons we’re still married is that I go out of my way to being the quintessential mission impossible.
Like I said earlier, her mother never put anything in the freezer with labeling and dating the item. Her collection of frozen items went all the way back to 1998. Seriously, if the General had waited another year it could have been a twenty-year clean out the freezer celebration. The thought is chilling.
Getting back to the signature series now in place at her mother’s house, the General inventoried, organized and recorded by shelf what is now in the freezer. The General’s organizational skills are top shelf to say the least. Who else would even consider the need to inventory, organize and label? I can guarantee you, Santa Claus isn’t the only one with a list who will be checking it twice. The General gave her mother strict orders to suspend grocery shopping until she liquidates the inventory of the freezer’s contents.
Will it work? I’m not waging a bet. Trust me, I’m not the only one who uses discretion in determining if I want to follow the General’s strict orders or not. It wouldn’t surprise me if her mother doesn’t take anything out of the freezer. I mean if you’ve kept things on ice for twenty years, you’re likely not to change.
Andrea was speechless. I guess she had to hear the story again. Organizing, inventorying and creating a spreadsheet for the contents of the freezer were a bit much for Andrea to digest. Tell me you didn’t, but she did.
Did I mention the General is home? Yeah, I knew she was returning. Trust me, I was ready for her return even if I did leave a glass (maybe it was a coffee cup) in the sink. Our closet is picture perfect. I didn’t leave anything in the floor. I even double-checked to ensure there were no yellow tabs that come from the cleaners with my laundry. The General runs a tight ship or so she chooses to think. I'm glad she's home.
All My Best!
Don