Often, when I have an opportunity to visit a children’s home or residential school, I leave the campus with the thought that I love my job. I sometimes tell folks who ask that: “I’m an old child-welfare worker for whom the work doesn’t grow old”.
Yesterday was a feel good day for me. I had the opportunity to visit with the head of an agency and meet some of the staff and children they serve. By all accounts theirs is a tough job, but the long-term outcome of what they do makes a tremendous difference in helping children feel safe and move forward developmentally.
At the end of the day, I felt energized from shared time with an individual for whom the issue of trauma informed care is woven beautifully into every aspect of her life. She and her husband have thirteen children. Ten of their children were adopted.
Each of the thirty children currently being served in the children’s home they founded, are children with a diagnosed attachment disorder. The work they embrace relies on implementation of the principles of Trust Based Relational Intervention developed at Texas Christian University by Dr. David Cross and Dr. Karyn Purvis.
What we know today about brain development and the impact of chronic trauma in early childhood or even prenatally are through the efforts and commitment of those two champions who developed principles that help promote healing for children who learned early on that adults cannot be trusted.
Today we have a better understanding of the needs of children from hard places. In addition, they provided the leadership to bridge the gap in having the tools that work best in coming alongside children and families at the point of need.
Dr. Purvis will forever be remembered and honored as a world leader in finding answers and providing hope and resourcefulness to children and families. Her work was not just academic. At a heart-felt level, it filtered through the lenses of hands-on personal involvement and sacrificial commitment. Honestly, her life was her work and her work brought life out of the shadows of confusion, misunderstanding, heartache and pain experienced by many.
Her countenance was like a balm in Gilead that orchestrated wholeness and a sense of calm where before there had only been confusion, heartache and despair. Perhaps she was her best when she was intervening in providing assistance and support to those who were at their worst.
Because of her work, we now have better tools to equip children to find their voice and express their needs. We now have a better understanding of the long-term impact of chronic childhood trauma and how it impacts brain development, attachment and the formation of trust.
During infancy, when a child cries to have their needs met, if they are not comforted and the need addressed, they eventually lose their voice. In the process they also learn that those responsible for their care cannot be depended upon to meet their needs. Consequently, they are thrust to live in a world without trust.
We also know that imaginary fears are as real to a child from a hard place as actually being in an unsafe situation. Felt safety is critically important to children. Regardless of whether the fear is warranted or not, if the child is afraid they are in a constant state of alert and panic. Sadly, fear is the constant companion for many of the children who come from hard places.
Fear negatively impacts cognitive ability, sensory processing and the ability to form lasting attachments. Some children are so accustomed to living in a state of constant fear and panic that it has become status quo for them. They don’t have the ability to ever relax, let down their guard or dare to risk trusting someone to help.
So what do you do for a child who has becomes so accustomed to being fear-filled that he is literally afraid of not being afraid? How can you best help this child?
Dr. Purvis reframed what was previously thought of as best practice, but was in essence missing the mark. The skill set and knowledge we have today is light years beyond where we were fifteen to twenty years ago. Dr. Purvis was committed to the concept of not giving up on children.
My visit with the head of the agency in Florida yesterday reminded me of that same resolve not to give up on children. The work that is being done to restore children and families is not over. I had the sense that her life was her work and her work brings life out of the shadows of confusion, misunderstanding , heartache and pain.
All My Best!
Don