The week was impactful. In the space of a brief encounter, I’ve met a host of people that I feel bonded with and am now privileged to know as friends. Last night at the close of the reception, I truthfully shared with my niece, “You’ve got me hooked. You’ve ruined my life. I don’t have the time.” Getting back to the invocation, I asked my niece for a copy of her prayer. She had the privilege and honor of sharing the invocation. It was simple, but it was powerful.
“Heavenly Father
We come this morning with very mixed thoughts. We rejoice with the sense of extended family we experience with other League members. In so many ways it is ironic that our lives have been enriched through loss. It serves as a reminder that you have the ability to make all things new. At the same time, we come with a sense of sadness over the unfinished business that needs to be accomplished. Help us through it all to rely on you.
For it is in Christ’s name that we pray. Amen”
Maj Gen Kelly K. McKeague, USAF, made reference to the prayer in the introductory comments to his presentation made later in the afternoon. He shared the expression, “In so many ways it is ironic that our lives have been enriched through loss.”
Folks who’ve experienced ambiguous loss are not relegated to a life of misery and discontent. We live with a sense of unanswered questions, but from my perspective we emerge more readily equipped to negotiate life with a sense of ability and confidence. In the process of working through grief we’ve discovered strength and sustaining grace beyond human instrumentality.
In my workshop on grief I shared that I don’t consider myself an expert in the grief process. What I’ve learned, I’ve learned through the classroom of experience. For the past 43 years I have, at times been painfully aware of the complexity and ill-defined dimensions of ambiguous loss. I guess at some level, we are conditioned to think unless loss is up-close and personal we can’t full understand its intrusive nature and unsettling ways. In addition to my own pilgrimage, I’ve had opportunities from both a pastoral and social work perspective, to make anecdotal observations of others in the midst of the journey.
From what I’ve learned in the journey, I’ve discovered it is not linear, but circular and repetitive. It is not a continuous process. Like the chill from a cold north wind, it is both intermittent and recurring.
I had the privilege of connecting with 36 people at my work shop. In an attempt to make the workshop interactive, at one point I asked two simple questions:
• How old were you when you learned your loved one was Missing in Action?
• How long has it been since you’ve given thought to how that loss has impacted you personally?
At the close of the workshop, I asked, “How has your life been enriched by loss?” Perhaps it was the opportunity to consider those questions that emotionally served as the fabric for cementing a friendship that going forward I will value and enjoy. I am blessed.
All My Best!
Don