I am more familiar with that line of questioning when it is followed by the statement: “You should know better than that.” Trust me, that always spells big trouble. It didn’t happen often, but in the resources of my memory, the two were sometimes linked together.
Of course, my memories associated to the affirmation that “you should know better than that” stretch all the way back to my childhood years. Those words were not foreign to my mother’s lips. I heard her express them to my two brothers many times.
Actually, mother may have used that expression with my two brothers, but I don’t recall that it ever happened. Both Ronnie and Larry came close to having a “John Boy Walton” persona. They never did anything wrong. They were always reflective, soft spoken and an absolute delight. They were near perfect children or so it seemed. Of course, they have me to thank for that. I made it easy for them in contrast.
On occasion, Mother did use the expression with me. I don’t recall the circumstances or even my age(s), but I do recall hearing the expression: “You should know better than that”. By the way, it is not a feel-good expression. Don’t we all live with the notion that we don’t want to be either disappointed or disappointing?
Have you ever witnessed something and found yourself speechless? Sometimes making sense of the unexplainable can be challenging. Thursday morning when I walked into my office at home, I did a double take. My office looked very different from when I left the house three days earlier at 4:00 in the morning. It was bedtime when I returned from the airport on Wednesday night. Consequently, the big reveal in my office took place well before daybreak on Thursday morning.
I actually couldn’t believe my eyes. My office looked pristine. I won’t say that a thousand thoughts filled my head, because frankly there was only one possible explanation. I didn’t have to verbalize the thought because there was no one to tell. The General was still sleeping.
My immediate thought was: “The General has put the house on the market.” What other explanation could there be? The three-inches of dust on the book shelves were as clean as a whistle. I’m not sure there was actually that much dust, but the week before when the General was coaxing me to clean my office, she alleged three-inches of dust. The dust was now all gone.
There was actually a built-in desk in my office. You could have fooled me. Three days earlier, the desk top was not exposed. There were books and a cluttered stack of papers on either side of my computer screen. Now it was all gone. The small office where I spend the majority of my awake-time, looked twice as large as I remembered it.
Frankly, it was a good look. Maybe instead of putting the house on the market, the General was taking a different approach in teaching an old dog new tricks? Could it be that she simply wanted me to see what the office could look like, with the unspoken request that it stay the way I found it on Thursday morning?
Maybe at times, we all need a gentle nudge to hit the reset button? Actually a clean and well- organized home has health benefits. It is good for your psyche. Whether we want to admit it or not, visual clutter leads to mental clutter.
A research study by associate professor NiCole R. Keith, Ph.D., research scientist and professor at Indiana University, found that people with clean homes are healthier than people with messy homes. Keith and her colleagues tracked the physical health of 998 participants. The results showed that participants who kept their homes clean were healthier and more active than those who didn’t. In fact, house cleanliness was even more of a predictor for physical health than neighborhood walkability and other factors.
A clean and orderly house reduces stress. Under a sense of transparency, the stacks of paper that previously were on either side of my computer screen were visual reminders of unfinished business or the need to do x, y or z. With those visual reminders gone, I’m feeling a higher sense of calm.
By the way, research has shown that people working in an organized space are twice as likely to select an apple for a snack over a chocolate bar than those who had been working in a messy space.
The General’s thoughtfulness in cleaning and decluttering my office, has lifted a weight. For starters, she is no longer on my back to clean up the mess in my office. That in and of itself is remarkable. In addition, I like the way it feels to see uncluttered space on either side of my computer screen. Okay, so I lead a charmed life and I married well.
All My Best!
Don