In addition, in a very planned manner, Randy had reached out to one of the soloists at church two or three weeks earlier and invited her to sing "Blades of Grass and Pure White Stone" while he provided the accompaniment. Randy did not mention to me the name of the song he selected.
To make the Memorial Day service at church more meaningful, I invited three men whose lives are intricately woven with the background of military service in the armed forces, to provide a brief personal perspective regarding the importance of observing Memorial Day. The three men included Master Sergeant Ken Eastman (U.S. Army - retired), Colonel Randy Reynolds (U.S. Air Force - retired), and Lieutenant Colonel Robert Hites (U.S. Army National Guard - Active).
Though each approached the topic differently, the common thread woven throughout their presentations included the names and details of some of the men with whom they served who paid the ultimate sacrifice in the lines of duty and the impact that loss continues to hold for them.
Later in reflecting on their presentations, it brought to mind the many ways my life has been enriched by the men with whom Ronnie served. In recent years, I've gotten to know some of the U.S. Marines that Ronnie served with while stationed in the Rose Garden.
The compilation of photos included with this blog was provided by Robert Williams, a pilot friend of my brother who welcomed Ronnie as a hooch mate when he was assigned to the Marine All-Weather Fighter Attack Squadron 533. Their official location was the Royal Thai Air Bas Nam Phong, Thailand.
I have had contact with several men from that squadron and their continued remembrance of Ronnie across the years touches my heart. Their friendship now serves as a bridge that reveals a portion of Ronnie's life previously unknown to me.
A couple of years ago, the General and I were invited to attend the annual reunion of the “Animal 8” Corps of Cadets from my brother’s graduating class at Texas A&M. The group has met annually for a reunion for the past 30 years. I felt both honored and privileged to hear the stories they shared. I made some comment about having “crashed their party” and was offered the gentle redirection that probably “crash” isn’t the best word to use with a group of pilots. It was a point well made.
It was a feel-good for me to know that Ron is remembered and continues to be highly regarded by the men with whom he shared much. At least four of the men I met at that gathering mentioned being in Ron’s wedding.
Ralph and Terri Crow first reached out to us several years ago when they showed up for church one Sunday morning. Ralph said, "You probably don't remember me, but I was in your brother's wedding." Since that time we have come to regard them as dear friends. They are the friends who invited us to the Animal Eight reunion.
My friend Anne Boykin was also a classmate and friend of my brother. She, too, has shared stories and details regarding Ronnie that I would have missed had it not been for her. At the time, she was dating one of Ronnie's classmates in Animal 8.
Getting back to the Memorial Day service at church yesterday, the special music by Evelyn DeMoss and Randy Reynolds continues to roll around in my head. I had never heard the song before, but it captures the essence of Memorial Day.
The words vividly portray my first impression of Arlington National Cemetery:
"Blades of grass and pure white stone
Shelter those who've come and gone
Just below the emerald sod are boys who've reached the arms of God
Buried here
With dignity
Endless (endless) rows for all to see
Freedom's seed
In sorrow sown
'Neath blades of grass and pure white stones"
Today is Memorial Day. I didn't need a calendar marked with Memorial Day written in one of the squares to serve as a trigger to remind me of my twin brother. In fact, I think of him often. It has been over 48 years since his plane went down during a night mission over Vietnam. His loss occurred during the Christmas bombing raids of 1972. His status was and continues to be Missing In Action.
The feeling was unmistakable. As a twin, my brother and I shared a special bond. He had always been there. He was a part of my identity and I was part of his. People referred to us as twins. We were regarded as a unit. It was as though half of who I am had disappeared. The sense of loss was debilitating. It was closely akin to someone knocking the breath out of you. You gasp for air and find it difficult to breathe. You know you have to breathe, but breathing represents one painful difficulty after another.”
Today, I am at a place where my thoughts of Ronnie are not confined to the painful memories surrounding his loss. Now whenever I think of him, it prompts me to embrace a sense of gratitude for the time we shared. Our lives were good together. So much so, that I wasn’t sure I could do it without him. Maybe that is the downside to being a twin. You feel like you need to have the other one to be complete.
That being said, I am in a good place. I have been at a good place for a very long time. I wouldn’t trade for the experience of being a twin or opt to forgo it even knowing that it was time-limited. It was all good!
In looking back over the almost 5 decades since the loss of my brother, I can truthfully say that at no point have I been a stranger to God’s grace. Across the years, I have experienced and reexperienced every possible range of emotion. Through it all, I have never experienced it in isolation. God has always been there. He has been the support system that energized my spirit, comforted my pain, and offered hope for the beginning of a new dawn. He has provided the ability to walk and faint not.
I cannot pinpoint a timeline when I experienced a shift in that for which I hoped and prayed. In the initial weeks, months, and years following the loss of my brother, I longed for his return. That longing was never far from my conscious awareness. Somewhere along the way, however, it became a greater comfort to think of him with the Lord than his continuing to struggle for survival in a land where he was separated from his family and friends.
All My Best!
Don